Day one (A Journal Of a Want to be Cheerleader): I've always wanted to be the pretty popular Barbie doll on top of the cheerleader's pyramid, unfortunate for me my weight and looks didn't agree. I'm not flexible but I can cheer. I'm proud of my school and I believe I should get a chance to be on the A squad at my local high school. For the next ten days I will spill my soul and show you a bit of my life, cheer leading wise. I have been practicing for tryouts for about three months for a half of a hour a day, being ready is accentual to be a cheerleader, practice makes perfect. I'm just worried because all my life I have been made fun of because of my weight and looks, see I'm not very pretty and being fat doesn't make it any better. I'm not allowed to wear make-up and that makes it even harder to attract boys. Tomorrow is a new day and maybe when I wake up I'll look better! Well good night and wish me luck,

-Megan

Day two (A Journal Of a Want to be Cheerleader): When I woke up today the first thing I did was run, as fast as a could for as long as I could, 54 minutes. I really pushed my body to the limit but that's what you have to do to be a top cheerleader, put your body to it's limit. After I ate some fruit I exercised for two hours taking only three breaks for two minutes each. I decided to go on the Internet and figure out a good diet plan for my body and try to decide if I would be able to follow it. To be honest I don't really eat any more, food is just not satisfying and I feel such guilt when I eat. Well this stuff my friend gave me gives me so much energy it's amazing I feel no drowsiness, it's so great, I feel better than ever before! Well I'm out bye,

-Megan

Day three (A Journal Of a Want to be Cheerleader): Another day of hard core exercising, no problem though this stuff that I'm taking (The stuff that my friend gave me) it making me so WOW! I feel great, I'm not even hungry I've been exercising so tough. I've lost 20 pounds the past three mouths because of my exercising and eating it's great, just 30 pounds more and I'll be at a normal weight. I'm going to be the Barbie doll, I'm going to wear make-up and there's nothing any one can do to stop me! I'm 15-year-old I deserve to wear make-up! I'll just sneak it on at school and wash it off before my mom comes to pick me up from school. Well I guess I need to shape up to be a cheerleader so bye,

-Megan

Day four (A Journal Of a Want to be Cheerleader): My Mom won't get out of my stuff, she says I'm pushing my body to hard and that I look like a model, YEAH RIGHT I'M FAT! God why does she think that her lies will stop me, I'm going to make cheer leading, nothing is going to get in my way I've worked to hard. Besides my Mom schools going great, boys are finally flirting with me, YEAH ME! My friends are worried but it doesn't matter because there just jealous, just because there losers doesn't mean I have to be! I mean what is up with all the adults and my friends, I DON'T NEED THERE ADVICE I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF! I found out what the stuff my friend gave me was, steroids I'm so ashamed but I will only use them until cheer leading try outs are over just two more days. Well later.

-Megan

Day five (A Journal Of a Want to be Cheerleader): Every things a blur I feel like I'm drunk, but I'll be fine. I haven't eaten in a couple of days but it's cool because I'm losing more and more extra pounds, pounds that I can't have. I'm going to be the Barbie doll on top of the cheerleader's pyramid, I'm going to be the Barbie doll on top of the cheerleader's pyramid, I say that over and over in my mind so much but is it going to be true? I'm done to 142 pounds and I want to be 115, maybe lower.Well I'm going to go take a bath see you later,

-Megan

Day six (A Journal Of a Want to be Cheerleader): It's getting intense, really intense. I feel like I've sold my body to the devil to get a chance to be apart of the A squad, it hurts. My Mom is starting to get scared she doesn't say it but I can see it in her eyes, the way she acts, she is scared for nothing I'M FINE! Every one all of a sudden cares but they never did before so I'm going to do the same thing they did to me, ignore them! I'm sick of talking I'm out!

-Megan

Day seven (A Journal Of a Want to be Cheerleader): Three more days until the big tryouts! I can't wait, my looks are great and my weight is somewhat good. The pills, the exercising, not eating, and throwing up is all for one thing, to be the pretty popular Barbie doll on top of the cheerleader's pyramid. I am going to be the Barbie doll and I will be the best! I'm going to start eating again little by little after I make it (I'll still watch my weight) exercising is great I can do anything the burn is amazing! Exercising keeps my mind of my stomach. I'm going to go run to my friend's house (She lives 3.5 miles away from me, no problem).

-Megan

Day eight (A Journal Of a Want to be Cheerleader): Two more days and it's to much, I've passed out at home twice and my Mom wants me to seek help, I think I've made a horrible mistake that needs to be fixed, after I make it I will seek help but I need to make it! My life will be over if I don't make it, I need to make it! Every thing is so hard right now it's hard to decide what I'm going to do. There is only two more days and I'll be fine after that. It's hard to keep on going, I'm not sleeping any more because of the cheer leading and eating well I never eat. It's getting harder and harder to live but I'm just getting by. I'm starting to cry good bye

-Megan

Day nine (A Journal Of a Want to be Cheerleader): Everything's lost there is nothing more to live for accept cheer leading, one more day it's getting to intense. Maybe my Mom is right, maybe I need to seek help, and I will after tryouts it's getting intense and I can't see the letters on the key bored, I have to go.

-Megan

Day ten (A Journal Of a Want to be Cheerleader): Oh God I made it on the B squad, my life is ruined! I deserved to be on the A squad! My Mom is making me go to the hospital God I hate everything, I wish I had never wanted to be the pretty popular Barbie doll on top of the cheerleader's pyramid. You have seen 10 days of my life now I have to go.

-Megan

The after math of A Journal Of a Want to be Cheerleader: Megan is recovering from Anoxia and other problems with her body in a hospital located two hours away from her home, she will not be returning to her school and she will be going though a counseling program for four months. After interviewing Megan about her horror story she had this to say "I sold my soul to something that I could never be, a Barbie doll, take it from me it's not worth it, it's not worth it." Please support Megan by sending her a e-mail at SupportMegan@netscape.net